Jan 19, 1986

My name is Damien Knight. I am a 32-year-old female to male trans-person. Today is my birthday. I have lived as male since 2009. I was on testosterone for 3 years and desperately want to get back on it. I also desire one other thing, top surgery.

I have lived 32 years in a body that causes me discomfort, anxiety and depression. The dysphoria once was so bad I attempted suicide. Today I no longer try to die but I think if I had surgery I would be less depressed. This year I hope to raise 1000 toward my goal. Please, for my birthday I ask that people donate toward my surgery fund. Thank You.

The Go Fund Me for my surgery The Shadow’s Journey : https://www.gofundme.com/TheShadowsJourney

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The Shadow’s Journey

By Damien Knight

Finding myself in the mirror of my past, am I free at last?

When she haunts my dreams can I ever be me?

Saturday I spent my afternoon with my Step-mother and My father at Chuck-e-cheese. For the first time in ages I had a deep heart to heart with my step-mom. For me, despite all I went through, this was the woman who raised me and she is my mom so here on out I will refer to her as such.

I admit I had been harbouring some anger at perceived rejection this past month due to scheduled and canceled visits but the reality was every time we wanted to meet just was not optimal. I always have a way of making more of things than what they are. Those who know what I went through would understand why.

I did not bring up what I felt because once I was alone with my mom and we were talking I realised how petty it was in the grand scheme of things. Still the questions she asked could never be fully answered in one sitting. No one can fully grasp what my life was like but still I feel like I have to try.

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Throwback Thursday: Always Been a Boy

By Damien Knight

Being trans-male I often hear: “But you were such a pretty girl.” or “Why would you cut your pretty hair off.”

These people either misremember what I was growing up or only knew me during short periods of time when I suppressed my true identity. Today’s throwback Thursday is an Homage to my childhood and masculinity.

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This one above is one of my favourites.

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My point is in all these pics I clearly see a teenage boy. I was never the little girl people thought I was.  If you want to assist in my transition please donate below:

The Shadow’s Journey

Every Day Transman Concept 2

Damien Knight

I been mulling in my mind about doing web comics for a while. I use to draw comics in middle school and high-school but I never felt I was good enough to pass for an “Artist.” Anyway today I tried using paint to sketch out spatial concepts. I know the colouring job needs work. I still feel that I would need way more practice and better drawing skills before this could be a thing.  If you wish to donate to my Journey click The Shadow’s Journey. Thanks.

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Everyday Transman: Concept Art

By Damien Knight

I was considering starting a webcomic about what it’s like to be transmale. I decided to share this concept art. It isn’t great but during the time I drew it I worked at McDonalds and got ma’amed a lot. I need a drastic improvement of my art skills before I try to draw comics again.  If you want to help in my journey please donate to The Shadow’s Journey

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I am Damien

Written by Damien Knight

I am Damien
Damien, who loves fishing with his dad,
Damien, who use to wear all black,
Mourning quietly for himself
I am Damien.
Damien, who hiked with his sisters
Damien, who was a girl scout
Damien, whose dad still insists
That he is a girl.
I am Damien.
Who gave birth to son.
Damien, who wore dresses and make-up
Damien, who tried to be that girl.
I am Damien!
Who held an alternate persona
Deep inside, strong persistent it cried
“I am Damien!”
Damien, who birthed a daughter,
Damien, who couldn’t grieve any more
Who took every pill
I am Damien
Damien, who was tired of living
So, for the 20th plus time
Attempted suicide, but
I am Damien!
Damien, who was institutionalized
For the 11th and final time
Damien, whose doctor knew
I was not a girl!
I was never a girl!
I am Damien!
Who liked Pokémon and dolls
Who played dress up as a kid
And was always the male character
I am Damien!
Damien, who dreamed of dinosaurs
And going to Disney world dressed as a boy
When he was only 6 years old
And all the pain, melted
Knowing that
I AM DAMIEN!

Hi! If you would like to support my transitioning journey click The Shadow’s Journey.  Thank you for your support!