Distance (8/16/18)

I spent all this time
Barely acknowledging my beloved…
Why then does the distance
Bother me so much.
Why am I now realising?
Why can’t I say my full heart?
Why do I hold back?
I can’t take back years lost
I can’t rid myself the guilt.

Lady of Shadow’s,
Queen of dreams,
You invade my thoughts,
I keep looking for you.
I keep wanting to hold you to me.
I let you go believing
This was the right thing.
That I am your misery.

Allowed venomous thoughts to plague me.
I said before Lady of Shadows, Directly,
I know I have appologized profusely.
I wish to be with you everyday
for the this life, eternity.
I will love you even into the next life.

I am such who dedicates his soul to love
I’m willing to commit…
That discussion lady of dreams
Is for you and I alone
At another time another place
For now my heart is yours to own

Slayed Poetry

I have lost my sense of poetry,
My muse dashed the hopes I’d held.
I have healed some of the hurt
I allowed myself to be so exposed.
I let them rush in fast at me.
Talking every minute, every day
With someone for as long as I had.
I lost some of myself with them.
I took on a role too, I was king
Mr. In charge and she said yes sir
That’s how it went, heaven forbid
I fail to be in charge or fallible.
Each mistake I lost their respect
Ultimately lost them, though granted
With all women I have dated
It was I who ended it.

Being without her was hard.
It was being without the tides
but it made me think on things
On the uselessness of romanticism.
Aniya no doubt feels my wall.
The hesitancy I have in every step.
I love myself, that could be enough
but her love meant everything.
I have lost my muse.
No flowery poems of devotion
Flowing from my pen.
Words to be thrown away so easily?
How I envy simplicity
Almost wish I wasn’t an author,
A poet now.
Does she even care that I can’t

Where Is My Moon

The stars refuse to shine
In the noon-light
The sun bask the world aglow
But my heart is cold, empty, dark
And filled with fright
Where did my troubled moon go
Now it’s clear clasped in hand
Your radiance eclipsed
By my growing sorrows
The love we had,
Not mine to demand
How can the tides still ebb
The sea rock and flow
If I must let the moon go?

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The Shade Kikyo

Kikyo I can feel your sadness there
I am certian it will fade
How can you know my pain
When you are but a shade
Did I not die for you?
At the shot of your bow?
Yet you are not real
Not the true Kikyo
I tell myself I cannot find
The light in your eyes
No my light is not found
In the arms of a false priestess

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Break Again

In painted coats I wear a mask.
Quiet the voices inside me
Name my soul, dare you, my dear
And if you can come find me
My lady fair lives inside the mountain
And sings ballads to the moons
Upon her back the archers bow
Loves arrow shot too soon
For struck am I by beauty’s lies
Blind her voice is all I hear
Note for note I plead to die
And see my Aniya most dear
The sky is hers on dragon wings
The earth is mine to be buried in
If only I could fly to Sora
Instead I lie in my grave unforgiven
Oh troubled moon I am troubled waters
Oh mistress of fire let me be your wind
Alas! She is but a dream and I wake
For my heart to break again