Choose?

By Damien Knight

Are you lonely as I?
Does the air fill with sighs?
Do you wish for me?
Stare at clouds dreamily
Wondering if I am too?
I gaze up and think of you
Bold in your declarations.
I wish I had her admiration.
If she spoke to me
Held her heart out lovingly
The way you hold to dreams.
I wouldn’t fall at the seams.
I will be forced to choose
Between Mars and you.
Mars she has another she holds
And won’t leave as I been told.
Yet I feel so bound to her,
I swore once forever.
I said I was made for you
I feel this is also true.
I feel so real in our passion
That with your love I start again.

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Life With Chronic Pain

By Damien Knight

For the past 11 years I been struggling with a list of unusual symptoms. It started soon after my son was born, back pain, numb legs, leg cramping, hip and joints burning. As the years went it has gotten worse. It’s hard on me because as a geology major who wants to work in the field having to walk with a cane bites.

My legs go numb, my skin burns. I always hated being touched. It hurts to be touched. What hurts worse is wanting to hug my kids and the pain is so bad I can’t. I don’t know what’s wrong with my body. We have done test after test. There is no reason my legs are falling asleep and then burning like fire. They found nothing wrong with my back and hips. I started taking Aleve daily which helps dull the pain but not erase it.

Today I stand. Today I walk. Today I hurt. I will push for tomorrow. We will figure this out. In the meantime I remain strong and hopeful.

In Your Sorrow

By “Ayana Kanosis”

I watch as your soul slowly dies
I see that you are suffering
And all I can do is cry
The pain is so intense it stings
What can I do to comfort you?
How can I take the pain?
There seems nothing I can do
And it is driving me insane
What can I do to wake you
From your nightmarish hell?
No matter what I can’t break through
I cry, I scream, I yell
what must I do to melt the ice
that covers your hardened heart?
will just my words suffice
or must body and soul be ripped apart
I saw you falling fast
Seems you forgot how to fly
All due to the dead hand of the past
Let me save you I cry
As I catch you in my wings
Grab onto me I plead
For you truly mean everything
All I want is to fulfill your every need
Yet life is so unpredictable
I thought I saw you at my door
The dice are on the table
I wonder if you long for something more
And that is when I find that there is a chance
To get through to your cold hardened heart
Life is nothing more than a dance
In which from you I don’t wish to part

 

Oct. 5, 2000

Written By Damien Knight

The pain the hurt
But worse the memory
Of one’s first
Of the one only
Or so you would think
An event so long ago
Water drips down times sink
And yet I can’t let go
The pain of the moment
The joy in the sorrow
Like being hit
Can’t wait for tomorrow
The song of love
The pain of hate
Let the gods judge
I sit and wait

If I Loved You

By Damien Knight

If I have to tell you I love you
Than what is the point?
If I have to say a word
Then I have failed
The proof of my love
Has not been my words
But the fact that I keep
Coming back to you
Love and let go
Take your losses
They told me
And I believed
But I knew you were hurting
And hurt like that hurts me
But I won’t say I love you
Done, finished, over
I cannot say the words
Because I cannot hurt you
More than you already are
And I cannot be what
I hoped to be
I am no white knight
I will not save you
Just be there
In the shadows
Sadly always waiting to be