Monday Motivation: Forgiving Yourself, Forgetting the Past

By Damien Skye Knight

Today’s motivation is ‘forgive yourself’ and accept mistakes in others. I have already talked about how we have to “Shed Your Past”. Today I want to talk about one way we do that. We do this through forgiveness, not just of others but yourself. We are our hardest critics, sometimes we can’t help blame ourselves for things we couldn’t control. Or maybe we could but now it’s too late to change it.

What do you do if you can’t forgive yourself? Wallow? Last month was yet another anniversary to the death of my beloved Misty. She was murdered April 2005. For years I beat myself up over her. If I asked her to stay would she be alive? The truth is, it is something I cannot change and I will never know. All I can do is forgive myself. I can’t control it nor can I change it. If I did something to another person and it causes me guilt the only action I have available now is apology. If they accept it great if not I still need to move on and forgive myself.

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The last part is forgetting other’s wrongs. We never truly forgive and forget with other people as humans our memories make a large part of our identity. To forgive ourselves and others though we have to accept mistakes that are made and do so with grace. This is hard when the other party refuses to acknowledge wrongdoing, abuse, or suffering caused to you. Ask yourself does holding on to that anger and resentment help you heal? The answer is no. Let go and accept what has happened in this way you forgive them and move forward on your journey to forgive yourself.

Stay Motivated!

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Motivation Monday: Live in the Present

By Damien Knight

A lot of us are focused on our first week of New Year’s resolutions. The thing we often forget while working for goals is that we must live at the moment. Take advantage of the new day! Tomorrow’s worry is for tomorrow.

Goals must be taken in steps. One of my main goals to lose weight for surgery can’t be done by rushing. Worrying about tomorrow won’t get me done with today. Today I must make sure I eat right and exercise. Each new day is a blank slate to work on our goals. Embrace that new day!

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Stay Motivated Friends.

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Motivational Monday: Christmas Trees

By Damien Knight

Every year on the 15th of December my father, a short man, would go out and pick a live tree that often was 2 feet taller than he was. He would proudly haul this tree up four flights of stairs and into the apartment. The pine smelt amazing, and you could tell our father worked hard to pick the best tree.

My favourite tree was the one he hauled up those stairs, got it to the door, and in the house only to stand it up and it didn’t fit. We had to trim the top it was so tall. While I have never purchased a live tree, I cherished those memories and know Christmas is a time of celebration. Happy Yule, Merry Christmas, and a Cheerful Holiday to all my readers this year!
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Monday Motivation: Character

By Damien Knight

 

When we think of motivation, we talk a lot about light, moving into the light, seeking light, pursuing it. Light is always the goal. We then view struggle as our enemy and emotions as weapons against us. Pain, suffering, depression, we become swallowed in our cycle of pity and anguish and only light can save us. This, this then leads us to struggling to find light, light of course being happiness, prosperity and normalcy. We fight darkness, but is it our enemy?

I was evicted back in March 2017; the land-lord had tried several times to evict me for various claims and I finally stopped fighting her. I won’t claim I embraced despair. No one does but at this same time I had watched The Secret and I desperately wanted to believe in the power of attraction. I had put out to the universe that I wanted a house; I knew I had a lease I couldn’t break and, yet the universe found a way for me to break my lease.

So far, no darkness, but then I was unable to find a place, and I ended up essentially squatting in a house that had a bad roof and no floors in the kitchen. I loved the house itself and part of me wanted to buy it, but it wasn’t feasible. After just a month a familiar friend appeared. Depression, loneliness, despair. I have experienced many dark times in my past but this recent one I feel is where I mastered not fighting the darkness of agony.
For:

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I have suffered many “Character Building” events. Truly to pursue the light one must stop fighting darkness and use it to build your character. Side note if you suffer clinical illness do not take my words to mean you should stop medicines. Please remember that medicine is a tool to keep us going just as much as any other means of motivation and for some it is what keeps us alive. STAY MOTIVATED!

 

 

Motivation Monday: Be Like a River, Go with The Flow

Hey guys, this week I begin driving lessons! As you can see by the exclamation mark, I am very excited. I am also real nervous. I have not driven since my wreck in 2009. That wreck left me concussed and terrified of driving even though I was not at fault. Anyway, that’s beside the point.

Another exciting thing is the Geology spring break trip. I will go to the Mojave! I know little about the trip yet but I will write about it when I get back. Things are flowing, some good, no lots good but even when I got good flow I know life isn’t always smooth so today, My Motivation Monday is:

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When the river flows, it does not avoid the rock but embraces the rock. Over time, the rock in the river is rounded and changed and the jagged edges become smooth. In this way we too must embrace obstacles that cannot be avoided. When a river cannot make it through rough terrain, it’s path changes. It is not wrong or unmotivated to change direction, to avoid obstacles which otherwise hinder us. But if it cannot be avoided (School Tests, Job interview, a Marriage) we must welcome, embrace the change, the hindrance and reshape it into our benefit. Be like a river my friends and go with the flow.

Motivation Monday: An Act of Courage

By Damien Knight

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As you all know, I have moved into a new house. What you might not know is I suffer from chronic illness. This weekend I posted a poem titled Invisible which captured how I felt dealing with having to unpack an entire house with just me and two kids. I am exhausted, stressed and in constant pain. I know I shouldn’t complain about it but isn’t human?

Absolutely! And not only is it natural and human to complain it is human to want compassion. I have arthritis, Hashimoto’s, Asthma, epilepsy, GERD, and depression brought on by the fact I have had no medication since December due to insurance issues. It gets frustrating just trying to get out of bed. With a thyroid disorder sleepiness is more than just a symptom. It is a way of life. I have trouble sleeping at night and keeping my eyes open in the day. I live on coffee.

In fact, I bet most of you also live on coffee and you don’t even suffer a thyroid problem, right? Or maybe you do. The point is many of us struggle with just getting out of bed. I slept a lot as a kid, the depression so heavy sleep was better than living. Today’s Motivation “Every Day begins with an act of courage.” So true. For me just getting up means the depression, the chronic pain, and Hashimoto’s does not beat me. My illness will not define me, hardships do not have to define us. Be proud today you got out of bed.

Motivational Monday: The Candle in the Darkness

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-Damien

Some months back a big YouTube family lost two of their children in highly publicized CPS custody battle. I won’t name the family, I am sure we all know who I am talking about and their heinousness does not deserve more air time. Just know they were a “Prank Channel” where the pranks were them screaming obscenities at the youngest step child until he cried. He literally was the red headed step-child.

Why am I bringing this up on a motivational Monday? Good question you see during all that I had avoided seeing the “prank videos” and blocked out the story because it was very similar to stuff I suffered. Having my step sisters favoured over me, constantly being called dumb blond or some other insult, having my favourite toys literally thrown away or broken in front of me, and having my parents encourage my step sister to beat me up. While I know they might read this and deny they hurt me I know my past. I know my darkness. I saw those videos today.

It wasn’t intentional, a friend, one who was well meaning, shared it and Facebook auto played it when I scrolled. The flashback happened immediately, I was a scared teenager all over, I was that boy in the video being accused when I hadn’t done a thing wrong. I curled up in a corner and was bawling. Even now it’s hard to not have tears in my eyes. This is not how you treat a child you love.

The candle, the candle to my past is right there in front of me. As I cried my son heard me and came. His arms wrapped around me, I told him how much I loved him and how sorry I was for yelling at him so much. He and his sister just sat their in my arms like babes. Light a candle, forgive.

I do forgive my family, we have grown past so much. I will always struggle with PTSD but I can’t curse the darkness. I know that while I had a difficult childhood I am not the only one who has. My own parents both grew up in tough childhoods. I don’t know much about their lives but I know it was no cake walk and abuse is often a pattern one I hope to keep on breaking.

Happy Monday and stay Motivated!