For me, failure was always hard to accept. With NPD, nothing less than being seen as perfect was ok. The problem was nothing I did felt like success. I often felt my failures made me a bad person. That my many mistakes meant I could never succeed and then I had to remind myself of my favourite childhood quote from Paul “Bear” Bryant:
“When you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it:
1. Admit it.
2. Learn from it, and
3. Don’t repeat it.”
Mistakes didn’t mean I was bad, just that I should learn from them. It was ok not to know things; it was ok to have failure. Failure and mistakes are part of learning. It is part of the experience. As Adam Savage said, “Failure is always an option.” Being able to accept this option though took me some work.
I had to reframe my failure as a success. That each time I made a mistake, I really was on track to succeed. My failures aren’t failures, really. When I messed up, I simply just made another step to success.
Striving to be perfect does not bring the admiration I desire. Being able to fail with grace, to be successful and admit my failings is not a bad thing. I do not think my mistakes make me a failure or a bad person. When I mess up, I learn from that and move on. It is ok to make mistakes.
Failure is an option. Your mistakes are steps to success. They are not dark marks that make you a bad person. Learn from them, use them to grow and keep on staying motivated.
In life we all are taking “The Path.” It might not be the same path, but we are on the path of life. When we walk this path together, we must remember to embrace those we love and not force our way down the path. Forcing instead of walking the path leaves us hampered spiritually. We become bitter, controlling we lose our flow.
What time did you get up this morning? 11 maybe noon? It’s summer after all right why get up at 5:30? You can just stay up until midnight anyway, or maybe you think you can just get up earlier tomorrow. There are 86400 seconds in a day, are you maximizing that? Ben Franklin Said early to bed early to rise.
This week I begin working on time management and will update on how it is going. Stay Motivated!
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Today’s motivation is ‘forgive yourself’ and accept mistakes in others. I have already talked about how we have to “Shed Your Past”. Today I want to talk about one way we do that. We do this through forgiveness, not just of others but yourself. We are our hardest critics, sometimes we can’t help blame ourselves for things we couldn’t control. Or maybe we could but now it’s too late to change it.
What do you do if you can’t forgive yourself? Wallow? Last month was yet another anniversary to the death of my beloved Misty. She was murdered April 2005. For years I beat myself up over her. If I asked her to stay would she be alive? The truth is, it is something I cannot change and I will never know. All I can do is forgive myself. I can’t control it nor can I change it. If I did something to another person and it causes me guilt the only action I have available now is apology. If they accept it great if not I still need to move on and forgive myself.
The last part is forgetting other’s wrongs. We never truly forgive and forget with other people as humans our memories make a large part of our identity. To forgive ourselves and others though we have to accept mistakes that are made and do so with grace. This is hard when the other party refuses to acknowledge wrongdoing, abuse, or suffering caused to you. Ask yourself does holding on to that anger and resentment help you heal? The answer is no. Let go and accept what has happened in this way you forgive them and move forward on your journey to forgive yourself.
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I am a writer who often dawdles (wastes time). So here I am, procrastinating by talking about organization, writing tips, teaching writing tips, and other random things to keep up my writing habits, when I should be writing my novel, and here you are, dawdling as well. C'mon in and join me for some dawdling (and pretending we're not).