Feel trapped, mourning the dream,
Cut to pieces nothing left to see.
How do you bleed when vein dry?
A empty world filled with icy lies,
I can’t fight when others rather I die.
Every turn I’m wicked, narcissist,
Or I’m hated, othered, unwanted.
I file away the pain, slots of mind,
Empty, cold, no empathy to find.
Makes me worthless, no place for me.
Wake me from this misery,
This corpse tires as king of agony.
When will this damn curse lift,
Where is the supposes gift.
That life is suppose to be
Denied, rejected, forced to mask.
Hide dysphoria, depression, desire to die.
Hide my rage, my existence, wake alone.
I am done fighting on my own.
Please, crying out, desperate not to die.
Save me, I’m drowning in this sea!
Help so I can be who I see inside!
My name is Damien Knight. I am a 32-year-old female to male trans-person. Today is my birthday. I have lived as male since 2009. I was on testosterone for 3 years and desperately want to get back on it. I also desire one other thing, top surgery.
I have lived 32 years in a body that causes me discomfort, anxiety and depression. The dysphoria once was so bad I attempted suicide. Today I no longer try to die but I think if I had surgery I would be less depressed. This year I hope to raise 1000 toward my goal. Please, for my birthday I ask that people donate toward my surgery fund. Thank You.
Finding myself in the mirror of my past, am I free at last?
When she haunts my dreams can I ever be me?
Saturday, I spent my afternoon with my Step-mother and my Father at Chuck-E-Cheese. For the first time in ages I had a deep heart to heart with my Step-mom. For me, despite all I went through, this was the woman who raised me. She is my Mom so here on out I will refer to her as such.
Hello, My name is Damien Knight, I have self claimed many titles, Artist, Poet, Scientist. I have wrapped myself into these layers to define me. But I am caged into other titles, “Daughter, Mother, Sister.” SHUT UP! I want to scream, but I’m afraid.
Trump has announced a ban on trans people serving and this is how I feel:
It’s time to rise up. I will not, as a trans person who has military family, stay quiet. The army isnt a place to go backwards. We were the first to desegregate and we should be the first place to have full acceptance. Revolt, rebell as the declaration of independence states ” That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute newGovernment, ” it is time!
I am shaking. I am angry. America brags about freedom but we aren’t free. Healthcare is outrageous, racism is rampant and lgbt community is second class. Rise up!
By Damien Knight Bright colours cant take away the pain Sunny skies don’t mean there is no rain I wept feeling all alone surrounded While others claim my fear is unfounded Do you live your truest self? Or are you sheltered, soul upon the shelf? If I live as my truest, hatred and judgement Vile yells that I should repent But if I live as a lie, I’d rather be dead So I’ll be the man I imprisoned in…
I am a writer who often dawdles (wastes time). So here I am, procrastinating by talking about organization, writing tips, teaching writing tips, and other random things to keep up my writing habits, when I should be writing my novel, and here you are, dawdling as well. C'mon in and join me for some dawdling (and pretending we're not).