Years of Change

Pics from 2011, 2014, and 2018! look how I’ve grown and changed. I will be starting back on testosterone this February. I am very excited. Wish me luck!

Want to help with transition costs? Donate here : <a href=”https://www.gofundme.com/TheShadowsJourney”>The Shadow’s Journey </a>

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#selfmadetransman #selfmademan #transandproud #growingandchanging #transgendertransformations #ftm

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Transform (2011)

By Damien Knight

I remind myself what I feel
The ever turning wheel
Tells me how cruel life is
This body lies, it is remiss
I’ve painted myself a mask
To avoid the important task
Of acknowledging my fate
I can’t be me it’s too late
Still I must or I’d rather die
This mask I wear a broken lie
My dream is to transform
Become the man I always known

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Disassociated (Nov 2012)

By Damien Knight

Starr’ s Last

Like pretty pretty pictures
Hung on pretty pretty walls
I was painted and locked away
Never to be seen at all
You I loved with my whole heart
You betrayed me tore me apart
Tossed me away so far
Yet you can’t abandon Starr
Oh shadow I was the shield
No protection just sword you weild
Deep inside you I won’t speak
Still without me you are weak
I am the scalelike Starr
Did you forget who you are?

Shadow’s Retort
The voice inside isn’t me
Lies created by society
I will make myself whole
Embrace the truth of my soul
Today I am made new
Living my life out I’m true
I am Raven, the shadow
I say thus and it is so
You say I forgot who I am
But I know I’m a strong man
I don’t need the lie anymore
You won’t make me feel unsure
I’ll absorb my past mistakes
Instead of eliminate

This was written in 2012 when I had finally started openly transitioning. 

Disassociation is part of that experience and this poem is the identity I created to protect me from society scolding me for coming out and being open for me and me retorting that I am not eliminating who I was but accepting that not all of it was me but what others wanted. That from that point forward I would be true to me.

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We Won’t Be Erased

By Damien Knight

I’m tired! Say my name! Say my name!
I’m tired! But I’m here to stay!
I will fight! I’m proud, got no shame!
I will fight! I won’t be forced away!
You can try to say we don’t exist.
I will shout, scream, and stomp!
Bigotry in the office? Yell “Resist!”
Trump promised to drain the fucking swamp!
Instead he caged children, seperated families!
He attempted travel and military bans!
Now this plague threatens to erase me!
Your voice is your weapon! Take a stand!
We do not cease at your command!
We fight! Tired, angry and unphazed!
You can kill us, our fury rises across the land
For we are here and we won’t be erased!

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Quick Update

By Damien Knight

Trump memo leak about the planned erasure of trangender people by redefining gender has had me feeling depressed. I admit I am feeling it is better to end my life than exist in a society that can erase and murder me. I will not do this. I will fight back!

I went to my doctor yesterday and am now back on Adderall for my ADHD. I am also taking synthroid for my thyroid. I will be calling my endo and start back on testosterone. I won’t let this administration define me.

I am me! I am Male! #wontbeerased

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Everyday Trans-man: Personalities Of Dysphoria

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Hi I am Damien Skye Knight Aka Raven/ Koraki. This is Comic 3 of Everyday Trans-Man

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Dysphoria has become this dirty word in the trans community. This is the face of my dysphoria.

 

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Chest Binders

New chest binder! It had been a while since my last binder purchase. It isn’t perfect but it works. Good binder protocol, if able pull over legs and hips to avoid getting stuck. Hand wash to help them last longer or low cycle and air dry. #Binders #ftm #selfmademan

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Want to help with transition costs? Donate here : The Shadow’s Journey