I sent a letter to my father and an email. My dad hasn’t responded. It seems he doesn’t consider me any child of his. this hurts a lot. I am very angry but i am hoping this is just another one of his false abandonments. I am hoping but i do not know for sure.
Brighter news I will be seeing a new therapist who specializes in trans issues. This makes me very happy. I am on my way finally.
Every day is a mental struggle. When I look in the mirror I try to look at my face but I still can’t all I see is my chest. I hate it. I remember I use to scream at my mirror. Once I tried to block the mirror with a towel so I wouldn’t have to see it. It fell off. I hope the day will come that I can look in the mirror and see me.
I cut my hair all off and gave my female clothing to my little sister. This was back in October and I told my little sister. I am not the sister you thought you had. Remember you said once you always wanted a big brother. To be honest I always wanted to be that big brother. I hugged my sister, she is precious in my eyes. I told her that I preferred to be called Damien. She managed to call me Damie occasionally. Like everyone else that fell through and she calls me by my birth name.
It gets irritating. I love the man I am with but even he doesn’t understand. He’s in the Army so I doubt I could pursue a sex change even if I didn’t get the SRS operation.
I don’t know I just need to get these emotions out thanks.
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