Instructions: You speak differently from the way you write.
Imagine you are at a football game when a strange object appears over the field. As the crowd watches in fascination, the object lands on the 30-yard line, and a gang of strange blue creatures pours out and delivers extraterrestrials ice cream to every member of the crowd.
Then imagine how you would tell that story to one of your good friends.
Me: “So, um, I was at a football game, giving the sport a chance. I was watching it in boredom, then a spaceship appeared. It had aliens! These aliens handed out ice-cream!”
Friend: “Right, aliens and ice-cream.”
Me: “Yes, I took a video see here it is. Ice-cream!”
Friend: “What? Why aren’t they abducting them?”