If you wondered what happened to The Shadow, wonder no more. I have been working on World Anvil summer camp prompts. You can visit my World Anvil world Lysandus here: https://www.worldanvil.com/w/lysandus-korakisaros I also been doing Camp Nano.
I know I promised a monthly post, but it is not feasible during Nano’s. I also had my laptop go back to the shop, which complicates blogging further.
Normally I write motivational pieces for Motivation Monday, but this month I decided we need to talk about internalized ableism. I will preface this with the fact that I am disabled. I am an autistic male who also has pots and is epileptic. I walk with a cane on most days. I also am asthmatic and ADHD. These are all disabilities. This topic is important, not just because it applies to me though, many of you will know someone who is disabled. Let’s begin.
I will return to posting regularly on this blog, though for myself I will only post the Monday Motivations. I shall have the posts first thing Monday mornings CST time. My children will post stories and art when they can.
I also have or will take down all the Aldaria posts as I finalize my novel. I found the subscriber feature to the blog to be unusable. I do not wish to have the Aldaria work posted publicly at this time, though I may in the future.
Promotion and Goals for Shadow’s Lair and The Shade of Writing
We also opened a CafePress store: The Shadow’s Lair Store. We post weekly on YouTube, which you can find here: The Shadow’s Lair Finally, we have a Patreon and will post family vlog posts with early access for patrons. Also, all Aldaria writings will be available to patrons.
To Our Fans: Thank You
Thank you for remaining with us all these years. If you like what we do, remember to follow our blog, like and subscribe, and support us on Patreon
So the world has been chaotic and a pandemic has struck, I have not written in this entire time a proper thought out blog post. I mean a lot has been happening. I been learning so much about myself since I told everyone here that I am in fact Autistic.
In 2011 I was diagnosed with epilepsy and I thought for sure that explained other symptoms I had been having for many years. Dizzy spells when standing, fainting climbing stairs, you know must be seizures?
When I learned my PDD – NOS diagnosis was an autism diagnosis I joined a great facebook community: “Sounds like you should ask an Autistic, but ok” and, “I’m Autistic and I’m gonna kick someone’s ass.”
There I met a wonderful person who I respect greatly and who talked me through my most horrifying experience at that time…I thought I had a heart attack last July. I was shopping for cat food in a local store and bent over and bam my arm hurt my chest burned and tensed and my vision blurred. I went to the ER my blood pressure was OUTRAGEOUS 198\ 113. Funny no days when I go in and doctor takes it i’m not as shocked anymore. Like last night it was 138/102. That day i was SHOCKED. I had only seen my blood pressure be low not high like that.
My new friend and the group members of those two groups helped me connect this event to something I had never considered before. The constant dehydration and need to drink was not onset of diabetes… I might have POTS.
A year later I have learned my blood pressure fluctuates, my heart rate is fast and I match many post symptoms. I am also back on all the meds I need to be on except for proper meds for POTS, though my doctor does have me on a beta blocker. I am back on seizure meds, back on Adderall for ADHD, I am still on thyroid meds and I am back on testosterone. I also have my asthma meds yay me!
So now we are at where I tell you why the click bait title. With a global pandemic and me being a disabled asthmatic getting meds isn’t always easy. Last week I had no meds, no adderall or depakote anyway. So for a week I went without Seizure medicines and I began to slowly have seizures again. Well last Thursday I was able to get all my meds and I start taking them over the weekend. Still having problems and I was not 100 percent yesterday but I felt “better”.
I mean sure it was raining, but my kids all wished me “Happy Father’s Day”. I was given new hedge trimmers and I had a lot of gardening I been wanting to do. Sun finally came out it was warm and dry…. I turn on the hedge trimmers and in a moment and I don’t know how it happened I sliced my middle finger. Anyway the answer to “How is Damien doing?” Eh at least I still have a middle finger!
Who knew I would spill blood on a Dark Brotherhood shirt. Image depicts brown haired male wearing blue disposable mask and glasses, Has Dark brotherhood shirt on with red hand on black background.
Be glad it’s not the actual wound. Image depicts hand covered in dirt and blood with peach gauze wrapping middle finger.
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Greetings page followers. short update. laptop has been in shop for some time and it is difficult to write posts aside from short poems on my phone. This does not mean I am completely silent. I have posts on my Instagram and our Facebook pages!
The shadow lair family supports Black Lives Matter movement and stand in solidarity with them in this time.
We are self isolating until a vaccine is found for corona virus
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“ABA is abusive because it forces autistic children to undergo undue stress up to the point of panic and overstimulation while suppressing their ability to regulate this stress by forbidding stimming and self regulation activities. It violates their autonomy as a person and ignores ideas of consent. This kind of isolation style abuse between an authority and an individual would be considered inhumane in any other case yet we put young children through this. The result, not suprisingly, is ptsd as indicated by many autistic adults who have been through ABA.” -DAMIEN
If asked why it is abusive by allistic “Autism Parents *tm” feel free to use my answer here or link to the resources .
I worry, my heart races
I cannot breathe, choking
The world snaps around me
I’m alone, scared, pacing
The skin burns, eyes water
The world slams into me
The lights blaze down
My eyes can’t take the light
The day lasts too long
The night too short
The sounds too loud
My head just hurts
Let me free this rocking
Back and forth clawing
The rising inside me
Will this be how I live
Until the day I die?
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