Lighthouse

I ever seek the troubled moon
My desire the summer storms
My passion burns away the noon
It seems I never learn
Here I am and perhaps I’ll be safe port
Not today, or even tomorrow
As she is still so far from shore
Yet I know as time passes
One day it just might be
Safe enough to rest without worry
For now it’s raging seas
Just know that in the distance
The light house remains a-glow
That even a-far it’s guide
Pulsing will let her know
Should the ship wish to dock
Safe passage can be had here
I wait love in heart and soul
With open arms and open ear

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Heartless

Like ice she leaves me cold, lonely
Filled with a despair when I remember
I am always stand by, back up
Certain she was talking to other men
Only to return when they leave
I swallow, cold, erect my walls
She broke the contract long ago
I won’t give her my heart
My head reasons away emotion
She faked such devotion
With false affections I mistrust
Every return she makes to me
When will I accept the truth
That I’m miserable with you

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In Every Dream

They call me Kim Soo Ah
Friends call me Kimmy
She smiled bright with cherub glow
I handed her fallen books
Blushed with nerves I stole away
From her radiance
I lamented my parting so
Describing her emery hair
To shop keep as being a violent sea
Of dark obsidian streaked
With natural ebony browns
Her curls pinned behind doll like ears
Eyes of honey brown cinnamon
I cursed my anxious shy nature
Shop Keep laughed and says to me
Not all men are winners see
Yet she after me pursued
To my utmost astonishment
And traded numbers
She texted later to my good fortune
To ask to dine that night with me
So out we go but before
I show up at Soo Ah’s door
Dressed in lovely white sun gown
She bids me in to wait
She tend her make up, I sit down
On tapes I see a name
“Sorah’s Don’t Touch”
So Rah? Soo Ah? Or is this Sora?
I call to her and ask
Who is Sorah?
Those tapes are a friend’s.
She pops one in and I watch
The girl dressed in vibrant Han Bok
sings a most  lovely melody
The friend filming claps at end
“Fantastic Sora, beautiful as always.”
She cheers, I shut it off and sigh
So realistic, I mutter, every detail
The apartment, the campus, the store
But Sora, I am dreaming, and it’s you again
Can I not escape the lady of mist?
Will these visions never end?
She sees my sad smile
Oh, then it’s you, Damien?
That, Damien, where are you
Kentucky fair one, asleep
And where, Anika, are you?
Looking for you in every dream

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Ever Raging Dreams

I close my eyes and I see her
Sat on a bench alone
Her son in stroller laughs
I watch from a distance
Seperate, yet there I see
I desire to reach to her
I wish to share with her my heart
Pour my soul to her like wine
Yet he approaches and I open my eyes
I never wanted to leave Sora
My desire isn’t for the dreams to fade
All those others just vapid shadows
I, in her life, just an empty shade
Watching having never met her
Wishing with no clue if she is real
I close my eyes once more to dream
Waiting stories to be seen
She’s with me laughing, a joke I told
Her hair swept up she’s ageless
While I seem ever so old
I leaned to examine the way her eyes light
My heart longs for her shine ever bright
My deep fear, finding my Sora
Only to push her far away
My heart a wall, a fortress
My dreams my prison, my empty cage
Sealing me with sorrow
Filling my souls eternal rage
If she is out there, patient waiting
The maiden who my heart doth dream
Forgive me Tsuki, my troubled moon
I am but the storm at sea
The swirling typhoons
In your dark monsoon season
The agonies of eternal love
Yet even if i’m the epitome
Of your ever increasing dark despair
If I am not your knight from heaven above
Know I’ve longed for you’re happiness
To stand aside you, in solidarity
To hear your pain, cheer your bliss
I wish to be there beloved lady of dreams

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Blood Bliss (Nov 1, 2009)

This poem is ancient. I wrote it so long ago that I found it not on facebook or computer files but in a note book near a drawing of my 10 year old daughter as a baby! It’s a sort of depressed creepy fantasy vampire poem. Makes me wonder what else is tucked away in notebooks.

If it rained blood
I knew someone died
If it fell on me
I wouldn’t cry

If it rained wine
I wouldn’t care
Heck that be divine
But it rains blood

It pours from the sky
Makes earth a living hell
Covers every inch
And pools in the drinking well

I lower the bucket
To take in a drink
Absorbing life from horror
I stand at the brink

Of what is good and evil
Yet, like other men
I’ll do what I please
I follow my own command

But I’m not fit for happiness
Destruction is my joy
blood becomes my bliss
I will wake in sorrow again