To find peace in ash, I cannot sway in the wind, life is but one death.
Life is so complicated isn’t it? It can rush us by surprise like a mass eruption of things to do. These volcanos of expectations and ruined plans they come as if without warning. We ignore the tremors that warn us the eruption is pending and even as the ashes spew we oft turn away in denial. What do you fear? I wrote the poetic line above myself intent to turn it into a full poem, but it is a truth for me.
What do I fear? Why run from the ashes, the pyroclastic flows of doubt and expectations? No, we can face it by not allowing fear to sway us, remain fluid like the flowing molten rock, but steady like an unbowing mountain. It is now cliché but as the kids were fond of saying YOLO!
YOLO! Go climb that mountain! YOLO! Go read all those books! YOLO! Go take that crazy Pilates class! And YOLO stop eating tide pods ‘K or you won’t be living at all. We have but this one life and after it only one death. Leave no regrets!
A lot of us are focused on our first week of New Year’s resolutions. The thing we often forget while working for goals is that we must live at the moment. Take advantage of the new day! Tomorrow’s worry is for tomorrow.
Goals must be taken in steps. One of my main goals to lose weight for surgery can’t be done by rushing. Worrying about tomorrow won’t get me done with today. Today I must make sure I eat right and exercise. Each new day is a blank slate to work on our goals. Embrace that new day!
Stay Motivated Friends.
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Every year I write a piece on my resolutions. Normally I would write them and keep it private but this year to help me hold to becoming a better, healthier me. I will list 10 goals I will go for this year.
1. Lose 75. This involves becoming very stringent in what I eat. Not allowing junk food, soda, or other forms of sugar in the home. I also will increase exercising.
2. Start rock climbing again. I won’t let pain prevent me from my dreams I am going to one day climb mountains.
3. I will get back on Testosterone and raise money for surgery. My goal is at least 1000 this year. This means updating my GoFundMe once a week.
4. I will post a non-surgery related post once a week on the blog. I cannot guarantee daily posts but will do my best to try.
5. I will master at least one new language. I have already started doing this using Duolingo.
6. Up my GPA and do my research project. I was extremely nervous about doing my graduation project but I will have to suck it up.
7. Become strong enough to not need my cane. I started walking with a cane during periods of intense pain in 2010. I will figure out what’s causing my pain and find a way to not rely as much on the cane.
8.I will republish my novel and start my second one. I will stop re-editing the first one after I finish this.
9. Finish projects I have started.
10. Beat Skyrim. Seriously, like the complete game not just the main quest.
Every year on the 15th of December my father, a short man, would go out and pick a live tree that often was 2 feet taller than he was. He would proudly haul this tree up four flights of stairs and into the apartment. The pine smelt amazing, and you could tell our father worked hard to pick the best tree.
My favourite tree was the one he hauled up those stairs, got it to the door, and in the house only to stand it up and it didn’t fit. We had to trim the top it was so tall. While I have never purchased a live tree, I cherished those memories and know Christmas is a time of celebration. Happy Yule, Merry Christmas, and a Cheerful Holiday to all my readers this year!
How often do you pray? Every day, once a week? What are you praying for? Perhaps you have a big test and you want to pass? Do you pray then? To who? God? Or maybe just to your cats? And when you don’t pass is it then their fault? After all you prayed right?
The truth is no one can save you better than yourself. I won’t touch religion exactly today if ever on this blog. I won’t tell you not to pray or believe in your god/s what I will tell you is you cannot rely on prayer or magic alone. You must forge your path.
The Secret often talks of the law of attraction. In essence, it is thinking things into existence. Prayer is like that but what is thought without action. You can pray that you pass a test but without study you will fail. That is why today’s Wednesday Wisdom is:
I apologize for not having Follow Friday up last week and Motivational Monday. Keep Inspired!
When we think of motivation, we talk a lot about light, moving into the light, seeking light, pursuing it. Light is always the goal. We then view struggle as our enemy and emotions as weapons against us. Pain, suffering, depression, we become swallowed in our cycle of pity and anguish and only light can save us. This, this then leads us to struggling to find light, light of course being happiness, prosperity and normalcy. We fight darkness, but is it our enemy?
I was evicted back in March 2017; the land-lord had tried several times to evict me for various claims and I finally stopped fighting her. I won’t claim I embraced despair. No one does but at this same time I had watched The Secret and I desperately wanted to believe in the power of attraction. I had put out to the universe that I wanted a house; I knew I had a lease I couldn’t break and, yet the universe found a way for me to break my lease.
So far, no darkness, but then I was unable to find a place, and I ended up essentially squatting in a house that had a bad roof and no floors in the kitchen. I loved the house itself and part of me wanted to buy it, but it wasn’t feasible. After just a month a familiar friend appeared. Depression, loneliness, despair. I have experienced many dark times in my past but this recent one I feel is where I mastered not fighting the darkness of agony.
I have suffered many “Character Building” events. Truly to pursue the light one must stop fighting darkness and use it to build your character. Side note if you suffer clinical illness do not take my words to mean you should stop medicines. Please remember that medicine is a tool to keep us going just as much as any other means of motivation and for some it is what keeps us alive. STAY MOTIVATED!