Her Story

her story is painted lillies
dancing in a stilted valley
along a shattered river
with lines along the surface
leaked through dripping
and the valley bleeds
Her story is pain
anger
depression
a silence you forced on her world
How plead you?

Cry Out-Dying

Feel trapped, mourning the dream,
Cut to pieces nothing left to see.
How do you bleed when vein dry?
A empty world filled with icy lies,
I can’t fight when others rather I die.
Every turn I’m wicked, narcissist,
Or I’m hated, othered, unwanted.
I file away the pain, slots of mind,
Empty, cold, no empathy to find.
Makes me worthless, no place for me.
Wake me from this misery,
This corpse tires as king of agony.
When will this damn curse lift,
Where is the supposes gift.
That life is suppose to be
Denied, rejected, forced to mask.
Hide dysphoria, depression, desire to die.
Hide my rage, my existence, wake alone.
I am done fighting on my own.
Please, crying out, desperate not to die.
Save me, I’m drowning in this sea!
Help so I can be who I see inside!

Motivation Monday: Humility and Humanity

Humility, what is it? Humility is the act of being humble. The dictionary states it is a modest or low view of one’s own importance. I recently heard a talk on the importance of humility. On it’s meaning and how to embrace humility.

Humility is grounded in humanity. Not so much lowering ones self below others but remembering ones self as part of humanity.

The origin of the word could come from the word “umbles or numbles ” which were the lower cuts of meat, intestines or loins of deer and dog. Used in 15th century English originally. When hungry we remember we are human.

Humility is strength and purpose, it is not a meanness, not superiority. It is the value at the core of several faiths. Islam itself means surrender, humility to god. Jesus humbled himself before his disciples by washing their feet. A Sanskrit virtue “neti” is “I am not.” It is a virtue of humility, essential to find your humanity.

Distance (8/16/18)

I spent all this time
Barely acknowledging my beloved…
Why then does the distance
Bother me so much.
Why am I now realising?
Why can’t I say my full heart?
Why do I hold back?
I can’t take back years lost
I can’t rid myself the guilt.

Lady of Shadow’s,
Queen of dreams,
You invade my thoughts,
I keep looking for you.
I keep wanting to hold you to me.
I let you go believing
This was the right thing.
That I am your misery.

Allowed venomous thoughts to plague me.
I said before Lady of Shadows, Directly,
I know I have appologized profusely.
I wish to be with you everyday
for the this life, eternity.
I will love you even into the next life.

I am such who dedicates his soul to love
I’m willing to commit…
That discussion lady of dreams
Is for you and I alone
At another time another place
For now my heart is yours to own