Fair the shadows of my dreams
The gentle kiss of misery
How I thought it were she
The lady of light come to me
Only dark recallings are left unaware
She stares the window twirling hair
Her love burning, how unfair
That all these dreams lie broken there
How often must I repeat my shallow song
Am I the one who is im the wrong?
I, a god, a king, I must be strong
She comes here, unintented I strong her along
No I knew she was not my dark lady
My queen would recognise me
And how I rage each day passing
That I keep arguing identity
Does she not know how hard this is
How I spend enough time doing this
Makes me hate being here, no bliss
When this is my castle, she witness
My home, my castle, my dreams written here
None shall claim I am other than me
I will dream, love and declare my fears
My writing is mine I am alone in this Agony
The Shade of Writing 
I will start with addressing the feeling of “never loving another”. It is common to feel when you find “first love”. For you the experience is unique something only in movies and fairy story. For me I see every teen child who falls in love go through it. Including myself.
That said never once would I dare tell you to try and love someone new or move on. No, I did not listen when I fell hopelessly in love the first time nor have I every time since. And each love built me. Some good, some rough but all made me me. I loved and gave my heart. So love him for as long as that holds and should someday you find yourself in love with someone new well it doesn’t mean the old was a lie just means things changed and your heart moved on.
For how your heart and head read into words here. How many times I’d read someone’s writing and my mind felt it was a message direct to me. Sometimes that message is divine intervention maybe you needed to understand your heart but it was not me or him.
You needed the shades light. But I worry constantly how free are you? Still tied and trapped and now ensnared here too? Mad is love, love is a madness one easy forgiven.
I am the shade, the bard, the king of my castle and if my verse shined light on one person’s life I am happy for that but don’t enslave yourself to agony in hope of false reality. Seek that love, that maddening emotion where it lies or hold it close until it lights itself in someone’s eyes.
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Normal is over rated. Normal is for others, for those who are boring who suffer little and understand little. Be who you are. Weak, strong, joyful, pained… most of all mortal, vulnerable and human.
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ignore? your comments are valid your experience important. A view point on matters I can’t learn here in my country. I learned so much from you.
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Also you did not hurt me I simply desire that my words be seen as mine .
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anger is a mask emotion did you know that? Frustration I express frustration that I felt unheard, my voice overridden and not listened too. That my voice was attributed to someone else and I had enough of people speaking over me growing up
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If you have need to talk it is fine. I am glad you understand.
I want you to be happy of course and to find fulfillment. I was very busy the past week and regret not seeing your comments and answering promptly as I normally would. My beloved pet went into surgery and I was prepping for semester as well as 2 kids starting classes.
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