My True Design

By Damien Knight

Mistress of mist, of shadow, of fire, I said nothing to be held a crime
I spoke nothing to hint love, desire or romance. I spoke truth, alone.
Would you scorn my true design to see you live a life that’s kind
I say to hate my heart, I don’t like the pain, or the unknown
Why does it hurt when I can’t be sure, why not just forget it all
A bad dream, a tainted vision, because I long for one who is such
I close my eyes and the words, the declarations, I recall’
Am I so vile? No one would care, no they could not love me that much
I am unworthy of admiration, devotion, obsession or infatuation
I do not blame anyone but myself for my lonely existence
Yet I would love to rejoice in her love, her deep passions
To see the day when the walls crash and the obstacles aren’t persistent
If I cannot have the love I dream let me cheer your love on
Let me know when finally you achieve your hearts desire
I will feel I was of true use how could I go on
When I believe I have killed another’s burning fire?

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