Wow, so here we are, my own real web page and our first real blog. Where to start? I have been writing for years, I used to keep an active blog on Myspace. Does anybody remember Myspace? Shesh, I am old right. After that, I got a Live Journal, I admit no one ever read that but not because I wasn’t interesting. I barely ever posted. I always kept a journal growing up, too. My first “diary” I was eleven. I loved writing, would write stories and poetry as a kid.
We have started The Shade of Writing as a Shadow’s Lair family venture. The Shadow’s Lair Family is a family of two dads and two kids, not to unusual. We love to travel, and will post about our travels, everyday lives, fantasy writings, and just a general hodgepodge of things. We also have a goal to one day own a family farm and shop. We will use this blog to update our progress on this goal. For those of you who found this after following the Shadow’s Lair for years, thank you for your continued support. If this is your first time reading our writing, welcome and thank you. Feel free to follow us on Patreon.
Left to Right Cera, Jayson, Damien, Aaron, 2011 Maryland Hiking trip
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Feel trapped, mourning the dream,
Cut to pieces nothing left to see.
How do you bleed when vein dry?
A empty world filled with icy lies,
I can’t fight when others rather I die.
Every turn I’m wicked, narcissist,
Or I’m hated, othered, unwanted.
I file away the pain, slots of mind,
Empty, cold, no empathy to find.
Makes me worthless, no place for me.
Wake me from this misery,
This corpse tires as king of agony.
When will this damn curse lift,
Where is the supposes gift.
That life is suppose to be
Denied, rejected, forced to mask.
Hide dysphoria, depression, desire to die.
Hide my rage, my existence, wake alone.
I am done fighting on my own.
Please, crying out, desperate not to die.
Save me, I’m drowning in this sea!
Help so I can be who I see inside!
Humility, what is it? Humility is the act of being humble. The dictionary states it is a modest or low view of one’s own importance. I recently heard a talk on the importance of humility. On it’s meaning and how to embrace humility.
Humility is grounded in humanity. Not so much lowering ones self below others but remembering ones self as part of humanity.
The origin of the word could come from the word “umbles or numbles ” which were the lower cuts of meat, intestines or loins of deer and dog. Used in 15th century English originally. When hungry we remember we are human.
Humility is strength and purpose, it is not a meanness, not superiority. It is the value at the core of several faiths. Islam itself means surrender, humility to god. Jesus humbled himself before his disciples by washing their feet. A Sanskrit virtue “neti” is “I am not.” It is a virtue of humility, essential to find your humanity.
I spent all this time Barely acknowledging my beloved… Why then does the distance Bother me so much. Why am I now realising? Why can’t I say my full heart? Why do I hold back? I can’t take back years lost I can’t rid myself the guilt.
Lady of Shadow’s, Queen of dreams, You invade my thoughts, I keep looking for you. I keep wanting to hold you to me. I let you go believing This was the right thing. That I am your misery.
Allowed venomous thoughts to plague me. I said before Lady of Shadows, Directly, I know I have appologized profusely. I wish to be with you everyday for the this life, eternity. I will love you even into the next life.
I am such who dedicates his soul to love I’m willing to commit… That discussion lady of dreams Is for you and I alone At another time another place For now my heart is yours to own
Cry for life, for release
To mourn lost hope
Cry to save the soul
From buried pains
Cry to escape
The wretched wastes of mind
Cry to renew and find
Yourself in brighter days
Cry to remember or cry to forget
To erase or to dwell
Cry for all these of for nothing
Other than to cry
Crying can feel horrid
In it’s delightful release
So, cry, just cry